JAMES SPONGE

The Cake Guild is an association whose purpose is to protect the
halfling communities in the Empire. Any halfling that feels menaced
can ask for the protection of the Guild; if the chiefs (les Chefs) of
the Guild think that the case is worth of consideration, they will
probably send one or more agents to investigate. When the case
requires particular attention, spies could be used. If it is a VERY
special case, then it is most probable that James Sponge will be sent.

Before becoming a secret agent for the Cake Guild, James Sponge has
been a cook, a thief, a charlatan. As a cook he gained a certain
fame as the inventor of the world-wide famous (at least, that's what
he says) Sponge Sponge, also called 007 Sponge because it is composed
of seven layers of sponge interleaved with seven different creams whose
recipe is secret. He is also the world-wide famous author (at least,
that's what he says) of the book "Sponge's Sponges", including 101
recipes for cakes and sweets (but the "007 Sponge" is not
included!!). 

At the moment, he is working for the Cake Guild as a secret agent; he
is often sent to investigate on cases involving the life of halfling
communities, every time the chiefs of the Guild suspect that someone
is attempting to somehow disturb them. 

He is now writing a book whose temporary title is "Danger is My Job:
My Life as A Secret Agent for the Cake Guild", which obviously is
not going to be published until he retires from work - and, even then,
probably the Cake Guild will oppose to the publication. In this book,
he is writing the memories of his adventures. He describes himself as
a perfect secret agent, brave, clever, strong, and all this kind of
things: but he is likely to have slightly modified the reality of
facts. Surely he is one of the most efficient agent working for the
Guild, probably the best of all, although we have no precise
information about the exact number of such agents.

When he goes for a mission, he usually pretends to be a merchant or a
confectioner. This cover usually works, because not only he is known
by quite a few people as a confectioner, but also because he is a
really good cook. Every spy goes in mission with a certain amount of
weapons and useful tools for any purpose, and so does James: the Guild
provides him with the strangest tools, made by the Chief Engineer of
the Cake Guild Equipment Section, the Gnome Inventor Q..... the
Fourth, also known (for short) as "Q".

As a matter of fact, he is not too stupid, but sometimes pretends to
be. He is also a nice person, friendly as most halflings are, and as
most halflings fond of eating and drinking.
If you meet him, convince him to prepare a "007 Sponge" for you: it's
worthy!!

Profile:

M WS BS S T W  I A Dex Ld Int Cl WP Fel
4 31 41 3 3 8 75 2  62 39  45 61 57  58 

Skills:
Act, Blather, Bribe, Charm, Concealment (Urban), Cook, Cryptography,
Dancing, Disguise, Drive Cart, Evaluate, Flee!, Herb Lore, Linguistic,
Luck, Mimic, Palm Object, Pick Locks, Public Speaking, Read/Write,
Secret Language - Thieves, Seduction, Shadowing, Silent Move (Rural,
Urban), Sixth Sense, Wit.

Trappings:
Recipe Book, d4 Homing Pigeons, Disguise Kit, Strange Small Key(*),
Thieving Picks, Skeleton Keys, Fork, Spoon, Magical Suit(**), Coach(***).

(*)"Q." gave James this key maintaining it would be able to neutralize
a human-sized opponent without actually harming it. So far, James has
tried to use it many times, but he hasn't yet understood which, among
the effects produced, were meant to be and which were just
malfunctions.

Whenever James tries to use the key, roll d10 on the following table:

James aims the key at the opponent, threatening him. Then...

1: KABLAM! Explosion of the key causes to James 1d4 wounds (no armour
nor toughness).

2-3: BOUM! The key explodes again. No harm for James, but a thick cloud
of smoke prevents him and whoever in the area from seeing anything for
the next round.

4-5: ????! Nothing happens. James looks at the key in disappointment. The
opponent looks at James and is puzzled by his strange behaviour. Both
loose the rest of their attacks for the round.

6-7: PTU! The internal mixing process required to produce the
neutralizing gas is incomplete. The key sprinkles a liquid instead of
a gas. Roll against James' BS to see whether he hits his opponent. If
so, he's blinded for 1d3 rounds.
 
8-9: SKRIEEAK! The internal works creak horribly. Each creature within
2 yards form James roll against WP (characters with Acute Hearing have
a -10 penalty; James has got used to it and has a +10): those who fail
spend the rest of the round regaining from the terrible noise and have
their I halved for the next 1d6 rounds. Of course, deaf creatures are
not affected.

10: I can't believe it! The key has worked! It shoots a small amount
of narcotic gas onto the opponent's face (up to 2 yards of distance),
enough to make him sleep for 1d6 turns. Roll against James' BS to
see whether he hits.
 
This key was one of "Q."'s first creations, and the inventor will
never admit it has any malfunction. According to him, it works exactly
the way it should: the various different effect have the purpose to
puzzle the opponents, who can never know what they are going to face.

(**) This suit was created in the Zaubercollegium of Altdorf. James
paid a large fee for it, but it has proved to be worthy the expense
since then. It is a very smart dark suit; essentially, its magic lies
in the fact that it cannot be burnt, wet, dirtied, wrinkled, stunk
out, in a few words it will always look perfect as if it had just been
washed and ironed (very important, for a secret agent!).

As a minor feature, it also gives James 1 AP on all the body (Head not
included). Wizards of the Zaubercollegium said this last feature was
by far the simplest one to achieve.


(***) James' coach is another creation by "Q" (perhaps the most
successful one, according to the James the *only* successfull one). It
is a 4 HP open black coach, modified by Q with some small tricks
(bloodyhell dirty blows according to have experimented it). Coach
companies would pay a lot of money to have them on their coaches (and
to use them against other companies coaches!) The coach is really
useful in the spectacular chases James has at least once a mission.

All of the tricks can be activated by the coachman, handling a few
levers. They include:

1) Ejectable seats: all the seats in the coach have a underlying
explosive charge, which can be activated by levers 1 to 4 to throw the
passenger out the coach. The passenger will go up 1d3 yards above the
coach before falling: calculate the damage as usual. This feature is
useful for quick escapes, in case of real danger (although this means
the coach will fall in the enemy hands). This feature *should* not be
used when the retractile anti-rain cover is active... 

2) Rear caltrops: lever 5 opens a back compartment. Caltrops drop on
the road, covering the area behind the coach. This is most likely to
stop, or at least to (painfully) slow down any pursuer. Ostinate
pursuers entering the area will have their way hindered by James'
present. GMs should handle the situation in the details.

3) Wheel spikes: have you ever seen "Ben Hur"? Neither did Q. However,
James' coach has retractile spikes on the wheels activated by lever
6. The spikes can easily destroy the wheels of another coach. This was
the purpose they were meant for. Most often James clung to them after
an unpredicted fall while he was fighting with an enemy on the running
coach.

4) Retractile anti-rain cover: the name says everything. This trick
was required by James before he was able to get his magical
suit. Lever 7 activates it, providing a resistant almost
undestructible shield against rain, snow, wind, hail, and, to a lesser
extent, also against quarrels, arrows and some magical attacks. To
James disappointment, shielding support against thrown boulders has not
yet been provided (due to fund lack, he was told). The cover gives 2
additional AP to all within the coach. The retractile anti-rain cover
is also a good disguise for the coach.

5) Retractile front-lanterns: lever 8 opens two compartment in front
of the coach, from which two extensible poles exit with two lanterns
on the top. Very useful during night chases or romantic ride along the
river... ("Oh James, you always surprise me...") Thanks to complex
works included in the compartment (according to James, thanks to some
goodwilling fire spirit), the lanterns come out already lighted.

6) Retractile front-crossbows: lever 9 opens the same compartment as
lever 8, but, instead of the lanterns, two small foldable
crossbow-pistol appear (of course already charged to fire!). With a
simple touch of his finger on a button on the coach, James is able to
fire the two crossbows. 'Q' insisted on putting an explosive charge on
the quarrels, but James always refused. Useful to clear the road out
of annoying people.